


Being Horny and Sad is the Clear Way to get a Boyfriend

by DeadApple



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Cussing, Eventual Smut, Everyone Is Gay, Gay Connor Murphy, M/M, Romance, Trans Character, trans bisexual evan hansen, warnings for mentions of self harm and suicide attempts for later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 12:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13434816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadApple/pseuds/DeadApple
Summary: Connor Murphy is, sort of an asshole. And he sorta only even interacts with other people for sex or for drugs. But then he meets  this guy. This guy that unironically loves a good tree and likes to sing to himself. And he starts to learn that maybe it's good to get a change of scenery every once in a while.(Connor POV, multi-chapter fanfic)





	Being Horny and Sad is the Clear Way to get a Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> Me: I haven't written fanfiction since 2012 and I'm not going to start again now  
> Also me: I'm GAY and I love writing about Connor being Edgy and In Love(tm)

Your upset and thoroughly pissed off. Getting dragged to group therapy on a Saturday afternoon is not ideal to you by any means. But here you are, slouched in a plastic chair in your local libraries event space. And what an event this is. The jackass to your left won’t stop agitatingly bouncing his leg out of nervousness, and you have the most intense urge to sock the smiling group leader sitting across from you. Speaking of, it looks like he’s addressed you, but like Hell you know what’s been going on.

“Connor? Connor, can you please introduce yourself to everyone,” he asks in a sickeningly sweet voice. You let yourself slouch further down and look ridiculously cartoony with how long your legs are.

“Why? You just did?” You huff, rolling your eyes. His smile quickly dissolves into a hard frown and you let out a long sly, “Hey everyone, I’m Connor. I’m here because I hate myself and apparently my mom hates me even more.”

He doesn’t push the subject and moves on to the person to your right. The guy with the bouncy leg attempts to stifle a laugh, and you side-eye him. Even though the only thing you had been paying attention to about him was his nervous leg twitching, you can’t help but be a little taken aback by the rest of him. He’s wearing a polo, and seems like the kind of guy who was born in one. Normally polos and khakis are a big red flag for you, but the way his nose scrunches up when he smiles makes your chest feel tight. His eyes are blue and soft, and his blonde hair compliments them nicely. 'Wow Connor, can you be any gayer right now?'

So, of course, what any sane gay man would do, you spend the rest of the group spacing out and basically staring this guy down. He seems like he definitely notices you (not that you cared about being subtle), and he definitely is looking even more uncomfortable than when the group had first started. By the time you’re all dismissed, he tries to bolt out of his chair, but you’ve already reached out your long arm and gripped the bottom of him shirt. He looks back at you, frightened. Like you might hit him. And in another situation, that fear would be plausible. But instead, you let go of his shirt and stand up in front of him.

“Where are you going now that this is over?” It’s posed more of a command than a question. The wince on his face makes you wish you were better at turning off your asshole-ishness, but he begins to answer anyways.

“Just headed home, I guess,” he says, scrunched back. He was already a head shorter than you, but his cowered posture makes him seem so much smaller.

“You wanna come hang out with me?” You ask, trying to sound calmer, chiller. Hoping it’ll scare him less. He goes from scared to suspicious, and raises his eyebrow at you.

“Why?” 

“Because I’ve decided that you’re probably the only person who hated this more than I did. And honestly, if you’re someone I can bitch with about this, I need that moral support,” you say casually to him. 'Also, for some reason I think you’re really fucking hot and would love to take you home and shove my fingers in your mouth.'

He ponders this for a second, and looks you up and down, as if to determine if you’re going to take him home and murder him or not. He probably mentally decides that your combat boots and black nails outs you more as an edgelord rather than a homicidal maniac and nods his head.

“Alright, I’m parked out front. My car smells like cigarettes and stale McDonald’s. Just a warning.”

You turn your heels around and begin making your way out the exit. He scurries behind you, struggling to keep up with your long strides. By the time you make it to your beat-up Chevy, you realize you don’t even know this guys name. So, when he clicks the seatbelt of the passenger seat, you ask him just that. 

“Are you serious? Dude, we literally went over names the first 10 minutes of that,” he says, a lot more bolder than you would’ve expected, but it makes you smile to see a more confident version of him.

“Yes, dude, I am like, so serious. Because I literally, did not, like, pay attention at all in there,” you mock with a smirk on your lips as you rev up the engine of your car. He seems a little annoyed with your shitty impression of him, but he complies.

“It’s Evan. Evan Hansen.”

“Your phrasing says James Bond, but you name says car salesman. You work at any lots near here?” You tease. In your rearview you see him roll his eyes, but he smiles and you see his shoulders relax.

“Actually, I work at the arboretum right outside of town. Nature is more of my pace then screwing up speedometers and selling them to confused middle-aged women,” he laughs. You can’t help, but laugh too. But more at the fact that you picked the hugest fucking dork to be attracted to. It’s a nice change of scenery that the guys you’re used to crushing on.

By the time you get Evan to your empty home and into your bedroom, you realize that you have no idea how to hang out with someone properly anymore. Most people who come and visit you either smoke weed with you, have sex with you, or both. But even seems a lot more straight-edge than your usual friends, and you don’t know how to cater to his specific person.

“I gotta admit, I don’t do a lot besides listen to music,” you say a but more nervously than you intend. He’s inspecting the crumbled up doodles on your desk, and looks over to you.

“That’s fine, I like music. And you can, uh, bitch if you want to,” he laughs. He sits on the edge of your unmade bed and kicks his sneakers off. You connect your phone up to your speakers and start playing the first playlist on your itunes. It’s very emo and you hear Evan snort from your bed, leaned back against the wall now. You glare and him and go to sit down beside him. You unabashedly sit with your shoulder smashed next to him. This makes him tense, but he doesn’t move, “Can I ask a question?”

“Sure.”

“Why were you staring at me during the group? It was honestly freaking me out a little.”

You let out a breathy chuckle and turn to look at him, “Why, Mr. Hansen, it’s because you looked just so irresistible.”

He’s cheeks flush bright pink and he quickly turns his face from you, “Yeah, ok man. I get it. Really funny to mess with the bisexual kid like that. How did you even know?”

You frown at that. Does he really think you said that to make fun of him?

“Dude, my tone of voice might’ve seemed like I was picking on you, but those words were pretty hitting the nail on the head. I’m gay, Evan.”

“Oh,” he says weakly, turning back towards you and you suddenly feel very seasick from looking to deep into the blue of his eyes. 'God, I got to just fucking do it. Be the gay idiot I was born to be.'

So you lean over and you kiss Evan Hansen.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully updates will be pretty regular. But I'm in college. I honestly want to see this through to the end though.


End file.
